August 2010 is almost over and I couldn't be more ready for September. This month, while I will always remember it most for the month that Cara and I were married in, has brought a lot of ups and downs.
Around the start of the month, my Grandpa Louie went to the hospital. He was having some curious health issues and went to get them checked out. Less then three weeks later, he passed away.
A little before one week to our wedding, I knew the chance of my Grandpa coming to the wedding was pretty slim. He had been put on oxygen, was receiving a lot of blood transfusions and his health was really starting to decline fast.
I talked to him once on the phone, but the conversation was brief as I think he found it emotionally hard to talk with me. He said he was sorry but that he didn't think he would be able to get up to the wedding. I told him that was ok and that getting him healthy was Cara and I's concern.
My parents gave me daily updates on his health and spirits in the week leading up to the wedding. The day of my wedding I put a little paper heart with his name on it, in my tux pocket. It was suppose to be his table card for the reception, but since he couldn't be there I carried his card in my pocket for the entire day and evening.
And as much as everyone tried to maintain a positive outlook on his health, I remained unsure of how to feel about any progress of setbacks he had.
So, with the blessing of our families, Cara and I headed on our Minimoon to Nashville. I had planned for a few days down there, and then we would stop in Paris on Friday afternoon to spend time with my Grandpa.
But a few days into our trip, my Grandpa took a decline in health. The home nurse stated that he should be taken to the hospital, so he was.
Cara and I made the decision to drive up to the hospital on Thursday, instead of the Friday visit we had planned. I had no idea that our decision would be the best one we could have ever made in this situation.
We arrived at the hospital and were greeted by my mom at the front door. She walked us to the elevator and up to his floor. He was staying the cancer patient wing of the hospital. As we walked down a few hallways my mom pointed out the stops a regular visitor would need to know about. The vending machines, the restrooms.
We stopped just outside his room as my mom noticed the Radiologist was talking with my Grandpa, Grandma and my dad inside. Cara and I waited outside as my mom went in to listen to the conversation.
I leaned close to the door, being able to hear clearly was the doctor was saying. It was a call for radiation treatment in various parts of his body for possible cancer. He was calling for daily treatments of radiation for a few weeks.
I listened more, but the outcome never changed. My grandpa was dying, no matter how upbeat or optimistic the doctor said things, I understood what this meant.
The doctor finally left and we were free to enter the room. My parents had warned me that my Grandpa was weak and did not have his dentures in, thus making him look every bit of his age.
What I didn't know was that no one told him Cara and I were coming to visit. They wanted it to be a surprise. So we walked in, I waved and said to him with a smile the greeting I had used for him for many years... "Hey There, Grandpa!"
His eyes grew large and he looked at me. Even though he was in a lot of pain, I could tell how happy he was. So we gathered, my grandma on one side of him with me on the other. I pulled out my laptop and showed him a few pictures from the wedding and, most important to me, a short video clip from the ceremony showing when the preacher announced we were married.
It meant so much for me to be able to share that video clip with him.
Without his teeth in, and with the amount of pain, I couldn't understand any of what he was saying. My dad, however, has been with him throughout this and at this point had this language down.
My grandpa wanted to see my wedding band. I went up and showed it to him and then I had Cara come up so he could see her's. I joked with him that she was already showing me where I could put more diamonds on her hand (she has).
I then pulled a chair next to his bed and we sat there, all of us, for a short while. The whole time he was moving, trying to get comfortable and trying to breathe. His oxygen mask kept sliding around his face, most likely because his chin dropped down without his teeth.
After a short while it was time for his nap, so we all stood to leave. My dad make sure the nurses were going to be attentive to my grandpa's needs through the rest of the evening and we started to say goodbye for the night.
Before we left he motioned for my Grandma to put some chapstick on his lips. The oxygen he was receiving was drying his lips out. So she applied some and gave him a kiss. I think that was the first, and only time, I had ever seen my Grandparents kiss each other.
As we filtered out of the room, I reached down and held his hand. I looked at him and told him, "We're going to get back to see you soon, Grandpa."
"I love you."
And then I walked out, looking back to see him looking at me.
The next morning my phone rang. I woke up, saw it was my cousin and I knew.
Grandpa's heart stopped this morning and he passed away.
It took me some time to process it and I've only broken down three times. Each time I write about his passing, I lose it.
Tomorrow we gather to celebrate his life. I can't wait to share some amazing stories about one of the most amazing people from my life.
He is a big reason of why I am who I am. And it was because of that, that I was able to have such a wonderful person fall in love with me. One week ago today I married that wonderful person.
Two days ago I shared that memory with my Grandpa. It was the last moment we would share together.
